For many children, a pet dying is the first time they will experience grief over death. Avoiding the issue of the death of a family pet can be a missed opportunity to discuss with children what an inevitable part of our lives is.
Telling a child the pet ran away or you gave it to a friend gives them a different type of grief. They wonder why their best friend would abandon them or why their parents would want to separate them from a pet that meant so much to them. There are often feelings of resentment if they find out they were lied to.
Different aged children have varying abilities to comprehend death and mortality. Very young children may require help to realise the permanence of death, whereas older children will understand this, but may need help in expressing their grief and reassurance that they are not responsible for the loss of their pet.
Children need an opportunity to say goodbye and make the most of whatever time they may have left with their pet. Encourage activities to help them experience and express their love and grief. Draw or paint pictures, compile a scrap book or memory box, plant a tree or shrub.
It is better to be honest & travel with your children on the ‘loss journey’
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