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Helping children deal with the death of a family pet.
Having your family pet die is a very traumatic time for the whole family. While we, as adults often struggle to come to terms with that loss, children need our guidance to help them through this time. We are often at a loss as to how to explain why the pet has died and what happens next.
It is important to explain matters in simple terms, keeping as close to the truth as possible. Not allowing them to deal with death, even from a young age, can make it very difficult for them as they grow into adults, to accept many types of loss. Death is a natural process of life and unfortunately we all have to deal with it at some stage in our lives. To a child, as to many adults, the loss of a pet is often our first encounter with death, and can certainly be no less traumatic than losing an extended family member. Our pets affect our daily lives in a way that extended family members do not, so to a child, whose whole life is the home, this is a hard time indeed.
If you feel your child can cope, and the situation is not too traumatic, then being able to say good bye to your pet can also be beneficial to the grief process. It allows us all to have some closure.
Encourage the child to talk about their pet, remembering all the wonderful times, the silly times and usually some very naughty times. Have some kind of family service at home to remember the pet. Light a candle and say a few special words, or get the child to write or draw something that has a special meaning.
Make sure the child does not feel responsible for the pets’ death. They may have felt angry or shouted at the pet at some time and feel guilty about this. They must also not feel guilty about wanting another pet. We never replace or lose that love we had for our pet, we just need another to love and look after. Our hearts are large; we can love many people and pets in our lifetime!
Crying in front of children is both normal and healthy. If they can see you expressing your emotions, they will feel more comfortable with their own feelings. Listen and talk to your child - they often have wonderfully simple explanations for things that we have not even thought about!
In conclusion, just be honest and open with your child and do not try to hide anything from them. They will usually pick up that something is wrong anyway. Allow them and yourselves to show your grief. This is a very sad time for us all.
Alison Moore
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Poem
One by One, they pass by my cage, Too old, too worn, too broken, no way. Way past his time, he can't run and play. Then they shake their heads slowly and go on their way. A little old man, arthritic and sore, It seems I am not wanted anymore. I once had a home, I once had a bed, A place that was warm, and where I was fed. Now my muzzle is grey, and my eyes slowly fail. Who wants a dog so old and so frail? My family decided I didn't belong, I got in their way, my attitude was wrong. Whatever excuse they made in their head, Can't justify how they left me for dead. Now I sit in this cage, where day after day, The younger dogs get adopted away. When I had almost come to the end of my rope, You saw my face, and I finally had hope. You saw thru the grey, and the legs bent with age, And felt I still had life beyond this cage. You took me home, gave me food and a bed, And shared your own pillow with my poor tired head. We snuggle and play, and you talk to me low, You love me so dearly, you want me to know. I may have lived most of my life with another, But you outshine them with a love so much stronger. And I promise to return all the love I can give, To you, my dear person, as long as I live. I may be with you for a week, or for years, We will share many smiles, you will no doubt shed tears. And when the time comes that God deems I must leave, I know you will cry and your heart, it will grieve. And when I arrive at the Bridge, all brand new, My thoughts and my heart will still be with you. And I will brag to all who will hear, Of the person who made my last days so dear.
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Welcome to this month's NEWS LETTER, Your comments and suggestions are always welcome, we'd love to hear your feedback on any of our stories featured in this news letter. You can email us at information@petseternalpeace.com.au
WATER?
